The Amazingly Lame Crocodile

Crocodiles are majestic, powerful, and amazing creatures.The tilt of the crocodile’s head when posed to come out of the water irrefutably trumpets its majestic nature. Historically crocodiles have been associated with royalty; I can almost see the crown that should be sitting atop its smooth head. With the eyes looking confidently out over the surrounding land, the royalty of the crocodile is irrefutable. The crocodile pushes itself out of the clear water using the power of its thick hind legs. The front legs support the massive upper body easily as the crocodile shows its long, sharp teeth. The sharp, scaly spines on its back subtly indicate that nothing can ruffle this crocodile’s proverbial feathers. Without fear, the crocodile displays its beautiful chest to the world, saying once and for all, “I am amazing.” Amazing is a criminally overused adjective in the English language, but there is no better word to describe a crocodile.
Crocodiles are ridiculous looking, silly, and lame creatures. When the crocodile pushes up on its thin scaly legs, it looks like nothing more than a ridiculously oversized, garden lizard sunning itself. It’s like it the crocodile thinks no one can see the struggle it has just holding half of its body up, never mind the rest of the body that just drags along the ground. Its beady eyes sit oddly on top of its funnily-shaped head, looking around the beach for any kind of cowardly retreat. The silly spines on its back do not even help it fight; they are just there to protect its sorry excuse for a cold-blooded body. At any moment, the crocodile is going to flop back onto that soft, carelessly scaled, and nearly translucent belly. This lame crocodile is going to go lay in the sun for hours doing nothing, trying to warm up enough to be able to do something, anything. If I did not know better I would call this crocodile an alligator, and its mouth is already closed as if it has already given up.